Ben

Tunguska

Sun, 18 Jun 2006 14:54:09 GMT

It Creeps from the corners of the mind.
It Encompasses all that it contacts, distorting even the strongest souls.
It Twists and writhes through the body, making its way to the heart.
It Reaches its destination, the heart begins to decay.

Decaying hearts bleed no longer,
Pumping nothing but dust through veins that have not known plasma for many months.
The body moves, but not by an act of will but by a willingness to act.
A strange darkness is all that enables It to move.
Un-thinking, un-caring and un-loving...
It is now a creature of instinct.

fuccccck

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 16:57:33 GMT

yo
fuck im quite nintoxicated and im thinking shit lol my typo was nintoxiwahtsit does that mean too much nintendo? anywho some cunt in cooper pedy won something like $500,000 snf id s cuntox and here i am saving $1,000 a fortnight just so me and the girlypoo can have a confortable life (love you shitface) fduck im smashed and im here uopdating maybe that nmeans a new start to my livejournal which is a million years old and fuck like that. How good are the dresden dolls! once i get back to civilisasaion im gonna track them down and see them live.
anywho im not sure if this is readable or not if it isnt then fuck you all
adios fuckcunts im audi
ahahaha i didnt know how to update but now iv ound it
fuck off.

Trust me, Im a ninja

Tue, 13 Sep 2005 14:38:18 GMT

As Mike Patton would say.. What is this?
Thats right everybody its me updating the most boring livejournal in the world!!!!11121!!~!~! OMGSA LOLS@!

Just thought id write abit on what iv been upto since the last post. For those that dont know im now living/working at Ayers Rock resort in ulara which is about 4.5 hours away from alice springs and another 5 hours away from the nearest civiliset community.
Im working here until about christmas or until i get bored because its a great palce to save money and im currently saving between $1000-$1500 a fortnight which i think is pretty skippy.

Its a hard life here but i get free food, free alcohol (plenty of it) and a good tan and now that iv got the net, ps2,and shit like that im rpetty settled but still missing home and the girly like crazy.

*waves to assflapper*

Man iv forgotten how to write these things they're so boring. Right now im listening to the dresden dolls and i swear that them and the divinyls are the newest greatest bands ever. Well the greatest behind the pummpkins that is :P

I just watched the Life Aquatic again and i swear the bit where the two dudes jump into the spa, with owen wilson and cate blanchett, one of them is eating a toasted sandwhich and its just plain quirkatronic.

anywho im audi.

You keep on using me.

Mon, 14 Mar 2005 16:48:39 GMT

Long time no post.
Lately iv been immersing myself in countless books and contemplating my own existence, this is not a good thing. Iv realised that contemplation just leads to depression and so far this year iv spent the majority of it depressed. Im not one of those people that lets my depression be seen tho which i think could be a problem. If nobody knows that im a mess inside then how can i expect anyone to come to my rescue.
Iv been looking for jobs that are advertised far away because at the moment i think the only thing that could help me is to go somewhere new, do something different for a change. I used to change myself and my life all the time and it always made me feel better but for the last 18 months or so iv just done the same old thing.
I hate these stupid posts that are just non-sensical ramblings but i suppose its good for me to type shit occasionally even tho nobody ever sees it.
Ahh.. well, The world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it.

Maybe i should do something constructive so for this post im going to do a list of my top 50 movies of all time(in no particular order).

* Velvet Goldmine
* Amelie
* 2001: A Space Odyssey
* The Empire Strikes Back
* Snatch
* Monty Python and the Holy Grail
* Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
* Reservoir Dogs
* Series 7
* Edward Scissorhands
* A Clockwork Orange
* One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
* 24 Hour Party People
* Nightmare Before Christmas
* Neverending Story
* The Birds
* American Psycho
* Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
* Anatomie
* The Labrynth
* The Transformers Movie
* The Wizard of Oz
* Oliver Twist
* Swingers
* Donnie Darko
* The Princess Bride
* Forrest Gump
* Spirited Away
* Monsters Inc.
* Made
* Fargo
* Sling Blade
* Ed Wood
* Stand By Me
* A Hard Days Night
* Clerks
* Chasing Amy
* Return of the Jedi
* Vertigo
* Eraserhead
* Mulholland Dr.
* Metropolis
* Logans Run
* Star Wars: A New Hope
* A Dog Day Afternoon
* Cube
* Punch Drunk Love
* Dark Crystal
* Ferris Beullers Day Off
* The Big Lebowski

MMmm im pretty sure i left out a few crucial ones there but i figure its a good list considering i didnt even go look at my dvd collection and that it was all off the top of my head.

Until next we meet.

Sun, 16 Jan 2005 16:43:01 GMT

Ok people i think i just saw the worst pictures ever, they were pics of a man tying up his penis and then cutting the top off, at this point im thinking they are fake but still they just look so real that you cant help but be disgusted. I was thinking about pasting the link to the pics here but i figured everybody is fucked up enough. Its pics like those that affirm my beliefs that the human race is worthless. We think that we are the supreme lifeforms inhabiting the planet yet we constantly prove otherwise.

Anyway onto happier things. The basketball season starts again this week so i can finally get out of the house and do some actual exercise and maybe work my way out of this slump that iv seemed to have caught myself in. Iv always found myself happiest while playing basketball. It's probably because exercise release endorphins into my body but i also think its because while i play my mind is clear, i dont think about anything except the game at hand. Its hard to be depressed when your mind has no time to think depressive thoughts.

Earlier today i was reading a book with alot oflists in it and it got me thinking of some of my own so from now on until i get bored each entry i do im goingto try and have a top/bottom (insert number here) list. Fun for everyone.

Because of my current mood the first ever list will be;
My top 15 saddest songs of all time:
15} New Order - 1963-94
14} Zwan - Of A Broken Heart.
13} Fiona Apple - The Child Is Gone.
12} The Eels - Woman Driving, Man Sleeping.
11} Concrete Blonde - Joey.
10} Ben Fold's Five - Brick.
9} StainD - Epiphany.
8} The Beatles - Eleanor Rigby.
7} Sarah McLachlan - Wild Horses.
6} The Smashing Pumpkins - Landslide.
5} Johnny Cash - Hurt.
4} Placebo - My Sweet Prince.
3} Rachel Stamp - Heroin.
2} Savage Garden - Two Beds and a Coffee Machine.
1} The Smashing Pumpkins - Crestfallen.

I know that some of the artists i put down didnt originally do those songs but their versions are the ones that i find sadder. I also probably couldve made the list alot longer but i think 15 is enough.
So until we next meet, i bid you all adieu.

wickity wack, im the mac daddy.

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 05:13:11 GMT

Itsy bitsy titsy girl doesnt hold a candle to her classmate sue.

A boy who once was known as seth dived into the reservior of nothing. After breaking the surface he kept on swimming until he lost all sense of direction. No longer could he breath, his lungs were aching, ready to burst he opened his mouth trying to gasp for air but instead his lungs just filled with water...

2005, the other white meat.

Tue, 04 Jan 2005 06:22:14 GMT

Well unknown people who read this, its finally a new year. Another year for me to waste my 'apparent' potential. Another year for me to waste all my cash on such frivolous activities as drinking and.. well more drinking. Another year for me to move from flat to flat trying to find a place that i actually like, and last but not least another year in which i poison my body and mind so much so that it is always on the brink of madness.

Have a good year everybody it could be your last.

In the mansion world id like to know you.

Sun, 26 Dec 2004 04:48:10 GMT

Instead of remembering here a scene and there a sound, I shall fit a plug into the wall, and listen to the past.

Iv been flashbacking abit lately its as if every point in my life is being brought into the present all at once. Im remembering things that happened years ago as if they only just occured, I think i even managed to pinpoint the exact moment where i went from a naive little boy into a deranged lost soul.

Once a pawn and once a pie a dandy dream what means to die, things to come as life goes by, its the core of human equation.

Cherry Axemoose!

Sat, 25 Dec 2004 14:35:28 GMT

Merry Xmas to all those out there in the land of the livejournal.
Today was another corporate christmas where presents and greed replaced family and peace of mind.
Actually i shouldnt be bitter this year because amongst all the shitty non-thoughtful gifts i did manage to receive a couple of gems. My other, slightly less enigmatic, half got me a retro transformers shirt which iv been looking for for awhile now and she also got me a book by Arthur C. Clarke entitled 'The light of other days'. A couple of months ago i bought the collected short stories of Arthur C. Clarke and was blown away and ever since then iv started reading again, its a different kind of fun i suppose. Anywho i hope to start reading the book when i tear myself away from this cursed contraption that seems to pull me in whenever i walk into the room, damn you internet! damn you to hell!. The other gift i got which i really liked was the first neverending story movie on dvd. The neverending story was one of my favourite movies as a kid and i hadnt seen it in years until today and im glad to say that i think it has withstood the test of time.

I just realised that its no longer xmas so i take back my call for you all to be merry, now its boxing day so you all should be hungover, sick and wanting to die.

Anywho im out of here.

There what was a boy, what did what he pleased.

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 06:38:35 GMT

There once was a boy who liked to eat spiders. I know what you are thinking 'spiders taste like rancid nachos.. who could eat rancid nachos?'. well this boy could and he did, he ate them all day. In fact there was nothing he liked more then to come home from a hard day at school and sit down with a nice jar of spiders and watch portmans romance.
One day tho the boy did not get to sit down and watch portmans romance, for you see the boy had died in a freak chocolate chip cookie incident at school. Chocolate chip cookies are EVIL....

I want to be ANARCHY.

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 03:38:12 GMT

WOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Look what we have here, its me updating livejournal! I dont think anyone actually reads this anymore because my friends list is basically non-existent. If any of you are still alive then get into contact with me and maybe il give you some monkey lovin.
SO yeah i know all of you are wondering whats been going on in the world of Ben, well unfortunately nothing much has been going on, i did move again about a week and half ago and the new place is pretty cool. There's a spare room that needs to be filled if anyone is interested ;)
At the time of writing this i havnt had an alcoholic beverage in about 6 days and i havnt gone out to an actual club in about 3 weeks, go me!
Man my life is so boring now, i need to get out more again or possibly get a new nintendo game and become an anti-social cockchump.

Anywho this is nearly as boring as i remembered it so in the immortal words of Al Gore...
"PEACE OUT YA'LL"

I fuck you because you ARE a whore

Tue, 13 Apr 2004 03:01:12 GMT

Yo yo yo, whattup chumps and chumpettes?

Im updating this so yep, im bored.
Im thinking about peircing something yet i do not know what. Im leaning towards my pee pee but still im not sure. i just feel like changing something about myself, maybe il cut off my ear van gogh style.

Hear your voice of treason.. will you come home and stop this pain tonight.. stop this pain tonight. doo doood ooooooooooooooooooooo
man im bored i think im giong to go to the mall and pretend to be johnny depp from benny and joon, il do the whole park thingo and entertain some punks for awhile.

*goes to pick up his hat but kicks it away*

adios fuckers

Racing car beds.

Tue, 02 Mar 2004 04:42:41 GMT

HIDY HOE.
*waves to alex*

Alex is a girl with fuck ugly hair.
When i fist my ass its her that i want there.
After the fisting il then grab my knife,
slit her throat and make her my wife.
Cos fucking with corpses is what i like best.
Especially ones who have a hairy chest.

sultrysnowPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Fri, 16 Jan 2004 02:07:45 GMT

so people i have about 5 days until i finish work so im here just kicking back updating my livejournal, im gonna write a lil poem and it will be dedicated to a miss Sofie bo nofie mcpooer.

Sofie be thy name, the name of the girl who has a nice pooer.
Shes so sweet that i cant describe it.. if only you knew her.
I wish that one day i could fist her nostrils and rape her bum,
and then maybe pull out and on her tits i think i shall cum.
Shes so sweet that i love her so much.
I cant wait to feel her kisses and touch.

Hope u like sofie :D its all for you!
laters potaters!

VUNDERBAR!

Wed, 22 Oct 2003 16:26:57 GMT

yo yo yo. Havnt updated for awhile and im bored so i thought i would. Things have been fairly good lately and things are going fine and dandy and hmmmmmmm, i had alot to say before i actually started typing now im drawing a blank.
OO OO OO i got my BDO tickets even tho there isnt really any must see bands and yeah........ VIEWTIFUL JOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *squeals and runs away*

Viewtiful joe you are my hoe. licking my feet and biting my toes, how is it that nobody knows just how good you are at all of your shows.

mm havnt been creative in awhile and it shows coz that poem SUCKED MONKEYS TESTES good thing i dont beleive in editing. anywho be back late maybe.

chicken soup

Mon, 04 Aug 2003 07:36:36 GMT

Im sick so does anyone wanna give me some chicken soup? if so just put it in my email account (viewaskewno9@hotmail.com).
Thank you.

turn around

Sun, 03 Aug 2003 20:11:56 GMT

Distressed, depressed, my heads a mess. Consumed by thoughts to head out west. Ive tried my best but failed this test so fuck you all, i couldnt care less.

Where is the love?

Wed, 30 Jul 2003 03:20:47 GMT

Heya folks! im just abit bored so i thought id make a lil upate.. how are you fuckers? good? good.
Work is cutting back shifts so that means iv got even more time on myhands and im broke :S

Where is the love y'all..

Sitting here bored, in a daze.
Insatiable is now on, its darren hayes.
I heard he's getting married again.
Lucky bitch, he should marry me, Ben.

my love for you insaitableeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *squeals*

i was just reading the case file for Ed Geinand he was one sick fucker. It makes me scared to go out in the woods and look for a dark house with screams emanating from it..
Bah! im rambling so i might put a few songs on to download then go read or exercise.
adios.

Mon, 28 Jul 2003 06:52:56 GMT

Im now totally broke.
Wishing i never woke..
But the futures looking bright.
I now have something good in my sights.
She means the world to me..
and hopefully soon our love can be free.
:D

poo

Sat, 26 Jul 2003 10:39:34 GMT

hey i think i just put an avatar up finally.. YAY!!!
Anywho im not writing a real entry so il just come up with a quick poem and leave yas all.. YA HEAR!

Im gonna go watch some TV.
yes you know that it sounds like me.
Il watch whatevers on and il do it with glee.
Then unzip my pants and set lil B free.
Then il go outside and wipe my cum on a tree.
Hopefully no one is around to see.
If someone is then il have to zip up and flee.
Oh yes! the pleasures of TV.

Splendour in the mud

Thu, 24 Jul 2003 23:44:49 GMT

ok ok ok.
This post is allll about my fantastictime at splendour in the grass :D i figure i should write it all down before it allslips formmymind so heres what i can remember.

Friday:
I was sitting at my pc masturbating when i heard a knock on the door, it was mitchy baby paying me a visit so i put my penis away in a hurry and scolded him for not waiting before he knocked then we watched some tv and i packed my shit ready for splendour then we headed to chucks and picked him up then caught the train to syd.
From syd we caught our countrylink train to byron bay i cant remember much but i listened to my cds and there was some chick behind me who was hot. 14 hours on a train is NOT good.
We arrived at byron bay and i started to chat to some sam chick who we shared a taxi with, she seemed abit nuts and she scared me. We gave her the name Nutfrapp (all girls we met are named after goldfrapp} *nods*. We arrived at the campsite and wandered around looking for the right people but we found none coz it was all organised poorly so we just found a spot near some other tents and set up camp for the night. We werethinking about going to town coz the two guys in the tent next to us (daz and oaks :P) were going in to get pissed but instead we went to the festicalarea because the jack daniels party tent was open and we proceeded to get mightily pissed and we met some luverly girls who we gave names to but their names elude me at this point then we went back to our tent and passed out :).

Saturday:
I woke up and was feeling abit daunted by the showers coz i had no idea what to expect and i sooo wanted a hot shower. To my surprise their were plenty of showers and they had very hot water :D and there wasnt a line either so i showered and then went back to my tent. once back at the tent i proceeded to drink and then i went and entered the festivaland inside the festival area i ran away from chuck and met up with lisfrapp and jacefrapp at the smoking tent. i spent most of sat with them and the highlight wasof course veruca salt, sarah blasco and goldfrapp :Doo yeah and chuck got a tattoo of a snake and daggar, his an original bastard that chuck :P anywho i got VERY drunk but luckily i can stil remember the bands, the mess hall and casanovas were pretty good too. after the festival was over i walked lisfrapp and jacefrapp to their bus coz they werestaying in town then imet up with slinkyfrapp. she was an exciteable girl who always had a slinky with her and we talked for a few hours while i continued to drink and then i ran off to meet some more people around the campsite. I cant remember much about this but i was quite popular by the next day around the site so i figured it wasnt too bad of a night :)

Sunday:
woke up late feeling sick :S ran into slinkyfrapp while she was entering the festival and said id see her later blah blah.. wandered around the stalls for awhile and ate food. contemplated stealing on of the huge jack daniels orange lantern things. ohh i forgot the mud! it had been very muddy the whole time up thereand raining :P but was all in good fun. It started raining again and while everyone was running for cover i ran into slinkyfrapp againso i started talking to her in the middle of the walkway place getting soaked while everyone was running like crazy around us looking for shelter coz it was at the worst moment of rain but we stayed and talked for about an hour and i told her i was looking for lisfrapp because she had some money of mine and some 'stuff' i went andwatched some more of the lesser bands but they were pretty good il remember more later :P then i found lisa at the ladytron dj teamthingamabob and they rocked :P i also ran into chuck, daz and oaks there. chuck daz and oaks had all been smoking and were quite stoned at this point so i ran off with lisfrapp and jacefrapp and saw alot of shithmm. then we went and watched john butler and he did a mad drum quartet with his band and ben gillies from silverchair. after john butler was PLACEBO the rocked my fucking cock and were sooooo fucking good. after placebo wemade our way over to the mix up tent and watched Death in vegas and i liked them even tho they were just 8 guys with guitars and mad visuals :P then we went back and watched the second half of coldplay and they were AMAZING not as good as placebo but still pretty damn good:Dthen it was time to leave coz the festival was over so we went back to my tent and by then i was peaking pretty hard :D so we met up with chuck daz and oaks and drank abit then went for a walk to the kiosk. The guy at the kisok was stoned off his head and i got 3 burgers a packet of chips some drinks and it only cost me $2 so i walked off happy with the excess change i was given but this chick made me feel guilty so i went and made a donation because the proceeds of the place went to fijian children to help them with their education. i felt good after it tho but the chick became name as gulitfrapp for giving me a guilt trip. slinkyfrapp ran upto my tent to say hi and yeh it was good then we walked around for abit while i was dancing my head off bopping around the place then we ended up at the tin shed place and watched abit of the song remains the same it was pretty good. then chuck daz and oaks decided they wanted to sleep coz they were too fucked and daz said if i found any frapp to let him know so i ended up alone for abit coz everyone had caught their bus of passed out, well everyone i was with anyway :P, so i went back to watch the end of the zepplin movie and i ran into the rockfrappers. a bunch of rock chicks who were all pretty damn sexy and hot and i ended up hanging with them and we walked around gathering stragglers like ourselves and made our own lil bonfire thing. during this time i felt it would be a good idea to walk into byron bay but only one of them was up for it so me and smileyfrapp went on a lil pilgramage to find the fabled 24hour bakery. after walking for about an hour we found it then we decided towalk some more. the sun started to come up so we walked back to the camping grounds and sat atthe kiosk waiting for it to open for abit then we went back to smileyfrapps tent and her friends had onlyjust gotten back from the bonfire themselves then we talked some more then i decided to shower..

Monday:
It was time to go :( so i helped smileyfrapp and the rockfrappers to pack up their tent then me and chuck packed up ours and we joined smiley and the rockfrappers at the beach because they were catching the same train on monday night as us. so wewent to the beach and i started to come down abit so i slept. then i woke up made a huge face in the sand with smileyfrapp then we all walked to byron and ate food. i was getting abit bored by this stage so i ran off by myself and ran into guiltfrapp and her friend who became silentfrapp. i talked to them for an hour or tewo on the beach then went looking for the others. we ended upleaving our bags and tents and shit at the traino and we went and got drunk in the park and while i was waiting for my kebab which was teh worse kebab ever i ran into guiltfrapp again and imsupposed to meet her some time at the annandale in syd but i cant remember when. then the trains were fucked up so we had to catch a bus to casino then a train from their which we did :)
I fell asleep for the start of the train trip but then i wokeup and went to chat to smileyfrapp for abit ooooo and slinkyfrapp was on the train to! then we got back to syd i ran into ickfrapp who lives across frommy parents and went home with her and that wasit all over with :)

okkk i just read through that quickly and i left out so much :( i didnt even talkabout sockfrapp! or the alpinestars and shit like that :(oh well they will always be in my head and the weekend was sooooo fucking good!

Splendour in the grass.
Better then fucking ass.
They saved the best for last.
NewFrapps and frapp from the past.
Greatest festival iv ever been.
Best live acts iv ever seen.
Splendour in the grass my dear..
Il be seeing you again next yea ;)

doodoodoooo beverly hills!

Wed, 16 Jul 2003 21:15:19 GMT

Contemplating masturbating instead of fornicating on my armour plating but i should be mating but instead im gyrating and chances are fading so il start spraying all over painting and make it wet so il end up wading through this...
Flowing but never slowing, always showing, slimey unknowing, ungrowing goop.

Ok im bored. 2 entries in one night... SHEEEEEEESH
and i just made a picture for alex:D she said she wanted to be a catgirl so i showed her how she would look like as a cat. call me picasso.. pablo picasso.

splendour

Wed, 16 Jul 2003 20:38:17 GMT

Ok fuckers im back for an entry. I think im getting a cold :( and its making me a sad panda :~( and my lil emoticon thing i now love because iv been watching hamtaro on austar :D:D and thus hamsters rock!
Splendour splendour splendour.. this time tomorrow il be on my way to splendour in the grass where i will consume copius amounts of narcotics and hopefully steal a kiss from brian molko. Its my sole reason for going :)
so wheres my poem u ask? well here it is.
its called 'brian my cyan eyed lover'

I gaze into your eyes waiting for the moment..
The moment where i see the chance to strike.
The moment where you drop your walls of protection and give into lust.
The moment where you think im another fanboy who wont go for the kiss.
The moment where your lip trembles and you are wondering 'is he for real?'.
I will strike, when the moment occurs.
I will crash through your walls of protection and smother you with lust.
I will prove im not a fanboy and il lean in for the kiss.
I will taste your trembling lips and then and only then you will know that i am for real.
After the moment has occured you'll realise that people arnt all what they seem and love can be found everywhere and in everyone.

ok now.
im starting to scare myself. iv gotto stop these homoerotic thoughts about brian molko otherwise il find myself wearing v-neck sweaters and watching queer as folk O_O

alsoiwant to do a shout out to my peeps.. lil jimmy and farthead bertha.. LOVE YOU GUYS!!

heya just a quickie

Sat, 21 Jun 2003 16:32:41 GMT

ok been abit busy here is another quick update il post bigger once soooooooon. but yes it looks like im finally moving. im scared as hell but i have to do it because the longer i stay here the more i think about her, i just wish she believed me when i told her i loved her, i just wish she would giv me a seconf chance. ahh well she has made her choice and if she cant see that its the wrong one then i guess i cant make her. mm but yes
moving should be good i get to start a new life and start fresh. im sure il still be abit depressed for awhile but im sure il get used to it then before i know it il be happy again.
anywho thats all for this update next time il write kev a poem :P

Tue, 17 Jun 2003 17:05:46 GMT

I have people who want to be with me so im just giong to turn into a whore again and fuck everyone, fuck all this emotional shit i knew if i let love out again i would end up in pain, i know i am a pussy, i know im pathetic i just dont get why she did it all, im only this way because she told me she loved me one minute then fucked me around the next.